The Search
by AriaBelikov
Summary: What if Rose became pregnant in Shadow kissed and had her baby in Turkey after she escaped from Dimitri in Russia? And what if no one but Abe, her father, knew about the baby? After Dimitri says 'Love Fades, Mine Has' Rose decides its time for her to start a new life with her son, Nikolai. But when Dimitri finds out the truth will he let her and his son walk out of his life?
1. At Least Someone Needs Me

Chapter One:

At Least Someone Needs Me

Merhaba: Turkish; Hello

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><p>(Rose)<p>

Leaving the church was almost surreal. All I could hear where Dimitri's cold words like a chant or a curse in my mind.

_Love Fades Rose, Mine Has._

As I got farther from the towering, gothic style church I began to walk faster and soon I was running like the devil himself was at my heels. Maybe if I ran hard enough, fast enough, I'd be able to escape this searing pain in my chest.

_Love Fades Rose, Mine Has._

I wanted to slam my head into a brick wall! How the hell could he say that? Did I really mean so little to him that he could just turn his feelings for me off?

I stopped running as my need for oxygen became stronger then my desire to run from the horrible memory of what I had just heard in that damned church.

I sat down against the guest building and tried to catch my breath.

Maybe it would be best if I just left him alone. Hell that's all he seems to want!

"I went through so much just to be with him." I whispered sadly. After a few minutes I stood up and entered the building.

My feet automatically took me to my room and I unlocked the door and just stood there and stared.

This was just a room; it would never be a home. As I felt my mood plummet even further at the thought that this might be what I come home to for a while I closed my door and lay down on my stomach on the full size bed.

I lay there and thought. I never once believed that I'd ever be the girl that got depressed over a guy but he was more then just a guy.

He was the father of my son.

After I escaped from Galina's estate outside of Novosibirsk and saved Lissa from Avery Oksana had pulled me aside and told me that when she was helping me communicate with Lissa she had sensed new life in me.

Abe had been close by and heard her and he kind of freaked out. He then proceeded to drag me to the nearest hospital and had me examined. Sure enough I was a month and a half pregnant with my son Nikolai.

I stayed with Abe, who turned out to be my father, until Nick was born and after a month and a half I returned to the academy to take my trials, I was a little late since I had to take off nine months but I passed with flying colors. No one but Abe and his guardians knew about Nick for his own safety. Not even Lissa knew.

I had hoped when Dimitri was restored that we'd be a family, maybe not now but soon. I guess that was just a pipe dream.

As I lay on the bed and contemplated my life and some of the stupid mistakes I'd made there was a loud banging on my door. I jumped up and opened the door.

There I found my best friend. Princess Lissa Dragomir and she was pissed. I looked down the halls and saw nobody. Then I looked back to Lissa.

With her platinum blond hair and pale jade green eyes she was a very pretty Moroi but right now anger made her face look mean and ugly.

"Liss are you ok?" I asked her. She didn't answer but shoved her way in instead.

_Ok that wasn't rude at all._ I thought as I closed the door and turned to face my friend.

"Lissa what happened?" I asked her as I tried to read her through the bond but she was blocking me.

"What do you think happened?" she snapped. "You ambushed him in church. Couldn't you have just left him alone!"

My eyes widened when I realized she was talking about Dimitri.

"Liss I just wanted to talk to him! Every time I try he asks you to push me away!" I said as I felt my own temper flare.

"Damn it Rose he's going through a tough time right now!"

"He's going through a hard time? What the hell about me?" I asked her bitterly. "I was the one that dropped out of fucking school to save his soul, I'm the one that was held hostage for weeks and treated like a bloodwhore! I'm the one that-"

I stopped short as the words _carried his child for seven months_ almost made their way out of my throat. That's right Nikolai was a preemie. He was born two months early and thank god he was as a healthy as he could possibly be.

"Oh for the love of God!" Lissa yelled. "Why is it always about you Rose! God why the hell are you so selfish?"

I opened my mouth to reply but she cut me off.

"You are such a selfish bitch! We'd all be better off without you. Eddie wouldn't be up to his eyeballs in paperwork, Adrian wouldn't be hurting over your inability to move on from a man that doesn't want you and Dimitri wouldn't be torturing himself about what he did to you in Russia! And I wouldn't be having to deal with all of this crap in the first place!"

Once she finished I calmly looked at her and for once I didn't see my kind and loving best friend. I just saw another royal that was degrading me and metaphorically spitting on me.

"In case you forgot if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be here right now." When I said that her scowl darkened.

"Why don't you just leave and get out of our lives?" she then turned around and left me there with my already broken heart ripped to shreds all over again.

I looked around my room and I began to feel like the walls were closing in.

"She wants me gone fine." I ran to my closet and got a duffle bag and threw my cloths and stake and my hand gun into it as I made sure I had everything that I wanted I pulled my cell phone out and dialed Abe's number.

"Merhaba?" he answered in Turkish.

"Hey old man its me." I said with my voice thick with emotion.

"Ah Kiz," he said. "How are you?" he asked.

I threw another shirt into my bag.

"I need you to bring me Nick." I said. God I missed my little boy.

"Does this mean you've told Belikov the good news?" he asked.

I scoffed and gave a humorless laugh. "Tell him? He won't even look at me let alone speak to me. Apparently everyone around here thinks I'm a selfish bitch."

I took a deep breath.

"I just want to get out of here. You know start a new life with my son somewhere far away from this hell hole."

Abe was quiet for a minute and then spoke.

"Where do you want me to meet you Kiz?"

I smiled sadly. "There's a motel two hours away from Court. Its off the highway."

"I'll meet you there in a few days."

"Thanks Zmey," I said as I felt the tears begin to fall.

When we hung up and put my bag by the door. After my tears dried up my anger flared up again. If they didn't need me fine!

Tomorrow I'd go and resign and then I'd make sure I had everything I needed to take care of Nick.

Soon I'd have my precious boy and I'd but this nightmare behind me.

* * *

><p>Sooo this idea came to me when I was talking to a friend of mine. Somehow it started with him asking why I never had Rose and Dimitri's baby be a boy to this twist on the last book.<p>

Basically I changed up the timeline a little to fit Nick's birth into the story. He was conceived in Shadow kissed and born two month premature in September. With him being six month old that means that Dimitri was restored in March the following year instead of late summer. Meaning Rose is now nineteen… Ok I think that's everything.

Please Review

Richelle Mead owns VA but Nick is my own creation.

AriaBelikov.

P.S. So I thought since the original was getting so many review I figured I make it a little better. I hope you all like this version a little better then first. I plan to re post chapter two and post chapter three tomorrow. Thanks.


	2. Oh You Thought I Was Joking

Chapter Two:

Oh You Thought I was Joking?

Kiz: Turkish; Daughter

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><p>(Rose- Two Days Later)<p>

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Guardian Hans Croft said as he looked at my letter of resignation and my paperwork. He looked shocked as he looked from the papers to me. "You're serious? You're quitting?"

I nodded my head. "Yes sir, it turns out that I'm not as cut out for this as I thought I was." Hans stared at me with shock as I pretty much admitted to being inadequate at my job.

He seemed to study me as I stood there with my guardian mask up, hiding the fact this was killing me. I had worked so hard to be where I was and I had wanted so much to keep Lissa safe but she didn't need me and I had someone that did. I learned in the last year scarifies are necessary, especially when there was a child involved.

_Humph, I wonder what my mother and everyone would think hearing me being all responsible._

"Now hang on Hathaway let's be rational here." Hans started. He stopped when he saw something behind me and a look of relief eased his features into a smile.

"Oh thank god someone who can talk some sense into this kid!" I fumed when he called me a kid. I was not a kid!

"What's going on?" I stiffened at the deep voice laced with a Russian accent just as his the scent of his aftershave made me go weak in the knees.

I turned around and there was the one that broke my heart and fathered my son. Dimitri was standing at the door with his hand on the knob he surveyed the room and when his eyes landed on me I saw a guarded look of regret.

_Too late now buddy._ I thought as I looked at him without any emotion what so ever.

"Hathaway is trying to resign her position as a guardian. She's quitting." Hans informed my ex mentor slash lover.

I took my eyes of the Russian and looked back at the head of the guardians. I never thought Hans would try and convince me to stay. I mean I wasn't that good… was I?

I heard the door to the office shut and then hands grabbed me and turned me around. Suddenly I was facing Dimitri and he wasn't happy.

"What are you doing Roza?" he asked me in his mentor no nonsense voice. I glared at him and jerked out of his hold.

"Do not call me that." I said calmly. "And I'm rethinking my future. I'm not sure if this is what I want anymore."

Hans groaned and sat back in his seat and I felt my frayed temper break.

"Oh come on!" I snapped. "I'm wild. Disrespectful. I act and speak without thinking and I constantly go looking for trouble! I'd thought you'd be happy to be rid of me!"

Hans looked at me unimpressed with my outburst and sighed. "That doesn't mean you're not one of the best guardians we've seen in a long time."

_Son of a- why won't they get it through their thick heads?_

"I don't want to be a fucking guardian anymore!"

"And what about the princess?" Dimitri asked from behind me.

I turned on the man I loved. I still loved him with all that I was and I'd always have a piece of him in my son.

"I'm through putting everyone else first!" I growled and I saw surprise pass over his face. He hadn't been expecting that now had he?

"I want to live for me! God Dimitri for once I'm putting me first!"

I then shoved past him and left the office but of course Dimitri couldn't let me make a dramatic exist because he was right on my heels.

I made it to the doors and that was when Dimitri grabbed my arm and pulled me to him.

"This isn't like you Rose what's going on?" I jerked from his grasp again and this time I lashed out and slapped the hell out of him. Didn't he know just looking at him was killing me? And unfortunately he didn't have the power to sooth that hurt the way his son did.

We were quiet as we stood there. Dimitri's head was turned to the left since I slapped the shit out of him with my right hand. There was a tense silence for a minute and finally I spoke.

"Why the hell do you care so damn much?" I asked. "If you want someone to leave you alone then you need to return the favor Dimitri."

I glanced around and realized we had drawn a crowd.

_Bunch of vultures. _I thought as I saw the faces of the Moroi women who were eager for any kind of gossip to spread around.

"I'm done being walked on Dimitri. For once I want to live my life for me. Not Lissa and not you, for me." I then turned and walked away from him.

It was the third hardest thing I've ever done. The second was staking him and the first was realizing I'd have to raise our son alone.

An hour later I had all of my bags ready to go and I met on of Abe's guardians at the gate. He had a dark green Honda waiting outside for me.

Once I was let through the gates the guardian got out of the car and held the driver side door open for me.

"Miss Hathaway." He said. "My name is Jason, I'm one of Mr. Mazur's guardians." I nodded and threw my bags into the trunk.

"Mr. Mazur wanted me to tell you that this car is for you. He figures you'll need it for whatever your planning."

I smiled. "Thanks." Then I got in the driver's side and he got in the passenger's side and I got the hell out of there.

_Hang on Nick, mommy is on her way._

* * *

><p>(Dimitri)<p>

I stood there and watched her walk away. I felt the panic bubbling in me and I had the urge to grab her and throw her over my shoulder and just lock her away. The only reason I survived the church was because I thought I'd still be near her here at Court. I'd be able to watch over her and make sure she was happy and now she was walking out of my life without looking back.

_This doesn't make any sense. _I thought. _Rose doesn't quit ever._

"I guess even you couldn't talk some sense into her." I looked behind me to find Hans. He was standing slightly behind me with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"I don't know what got into that girl but I hope she finds whatever she's looking for." He then turned and walked back into HQ leaving me there wishing I could turn back time.

* * *

><p>(Rose- Two Hours Later)<p>

I finally pulled up to the motel I had told Abe about and I was very happy to see his car already parked and waiting.

I jumped out and ran to the black Mercedes and made it just as he stepped out of the car.

"Hello Kiz." He said and as he hugged me. "How are you?"

I tried to look around him into the tinted black windows only for him to block my view.

"Looking for something little girl?" he asked innocently and I glared playfully.

"Yeah my kid." He laughed and then turned away from me and opened the back door behind the driver's side.

I was instantly in the door and unbuckling the baby.

He had Dimitri's skin tone with my dark hair that curled into little curls at his neck. He smiled happily when he saw me and reached for me his dark brown eyes lit up as I picked him up and kissed his little face.

"How is mama's little man?" I asked him lovingly. He giggled as I kissed his little cheeks again. "Oh I love you so much!" I squealed happily it had been almost five month since I held my son. I called every night and facetime with Abe so I could see him but it never held a candle to holding my own flesh and blood in my arms.

"All of his things are in the back now what's going on?" I looked to my dad.

"I quit being a guardian and I'm leaving." I said nonchalantly.

Abe was quiet as he eyed me critically. His gold earrings sparkled in the moonlight and he looked every bit the pirate mobster I had always thought he resembled.

"What happened?" he asked. I sighed.

"Dimitri doesn't want me and apparently Lissa and the others are better off without me so I figured I'd leave and start a new life with my little Nikolai here."

Abe looked at his grandson with a loving smile. "You're sure, Kiz?"

I nodded. "I can do this Zmey." I said.

Abe sighed and nodded. "Alright then." He said as he reached into his white suite. "Take this." He handed me a credit card. It had my name on it and I look up at him.

"What's this?" I asked. He smiled. "I found out about you when you were four. Since then I set up a savings account for you and you'll be set for life by the time I'm gone. I started one for Nick while you were pregnant. I've also opened a checking account for you so you'll have a source of income. This is your money Rose use it to make this new life for you and my grandson."

I smiled and hugged the Moroi and with my father's arms around me and my son between us I finally felt the love of a parent that I had longed for all my life.

"Thanks dad." I whispered.

Abe pulled back and kissed my head and then kissed Nick's head.

"Well I suppose I'll head up to Court. If you left I'm sure Janine is going to be there soon working herself into a frenzy."

I laughed. "Yeah." I said. "I guess she's gonna be pissed huh?"

Abe shrugged. "She's gonna tear this country apart looking for you. And it'll be even worse when I tell her about Nikolai."

I glared at him. "You're going to tell them aren't you?"

Abe nodded and I sighed. "Just don't tell them who his father is alright."

Abe thought on it. "Alright that I can do for now." His eyes turned sad as he looked at me. "But I don't think I can keep that from Belikov for long. I know what its like to have a child who you could never be there for."

Sighed. "Keep it from them as long as you can."

He nodded then after Nick's things were put in my car they drove away toward Court and I drove the opposite way.

"Well Nick," I said as I looked at him over my shoulder in his car seat. "Its time to start our new life together.

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><p>Please review and Let me know what you think. If you've already reviewed feel free to PM me.<p>

Richelle Mead Owns VA.


	3. The Truth or Half of it Anyway

Chapter Three:

The Truth or Half of It Anyway

(Dimitri)

I walked into the guest housing with my guards following close behind me. Oh I loathed them. I hated that I was treated like a murderer that couldn't be trusted but in a way that's what I was. I sighed as I knocked on the princess's door and waited.

Christian Ozera opened the door and allowed me to enter as my guards took positions outside.

As the door closed Lissa ran over to me a pleading look in her jade green eyes.

"Please tell me it's not true!" she said. "Tell me Rose didn't resign and leave!"

I couldn't look her in the eyes. I had caused a rift between the two girls, I knew that, and I also knew if I had handled what happened at the church a little better Rose would still be here. I had hated the words I'd said as soon as they had left my mouth and I'd seen the pain blossom in Roza's eyes.

"I'm sorry Princess," I said sadly. "It's true."

I heard Christian swear behind me.

"Where the hell is she going to go?" he asked angrily as he came to put an arm around Lissa's shoulders to offer her comfort.

"I don't know," I said and an irrational bout of hysteria began to claw at my chest like a monster ripping my flesh. _Where would Rose go? _

Images of Rose in homeless shelters and doing unspeakable things for food and shelter flooded my mind. The world was an unforgiving place especially for a beautiful eighteen year old girl.

_No! I won't let that happen!_

"Dimitri!" Suddenly Lissa was grasping my duster sleeves with tears streaming down her face. She looked fragile and helpless and I wondered if the darkness of spirit was already taking a toll on the young Moroi.

"You'll find her won't you? Please tell me you'll find her!"

I looked at her and I felt my shame engulf me. Rose was on her own and Lissa was falling apart so I said the only thing I could do.

"I'll find her." Because after all could I really do anything else for the one who brought me back to the living and the one who saved my soul?

* * *

><p>(Abe)<p>

I walked to my room in guest housing and then I planned to go hunt down Janine I had talked to her not too long ago and I knew she would be at Court today.

_I better tell her before someone else does._ I thought as the image of Janine blowing up and turning Court into another Pompeii came to mind.

As I walked down the hall I saw a certain Russian walking down toward me though he seemed loss in his thoughts and didn't see me. This was Dimitri Belikov the father to my first, and so far only, grandchild. I absently wondered if Nikolai would grow up to resemble his father. It was a possibility after all, besides his hair and few other characteristics, the boy looked almost nothing like his mother.

As the six foot seven man was about to pass me I stuck my arm out to halt him. He flinched in surprise and looked to me with at first irritation then shock.

"Zmey?" he asked. "What are you doing here?" I smiled cheerfully though really I would rather have beaten him until he'd never be able to father another child.

_But I can't do that Rose wouldn't like it._

Never let it be said that Abe Mazur didn't take his child's feelings into consideration before acting to defend her honor.

"I'm here to visit my daughter but I find she's not here." I said and he lifted his eyebrow. "I wasn't aware you had a daughter." he said as I notice he hadn't relaxed since he realized who he was talking to.

I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that he was cautious of me; after all I did have quiet the reputation even here in America let alone Baia, Russia.

"Well I've just recently met her myself, before now all I had had were a few school pictures." I then smiled devilishly. "I believe you actually know her," he looked confused. "I think you were actually her mentor."

His eyes widened before he brought that 'guardian mask' down to hide his emotions.

"Rose Hathaway is your daughter?" He asked me. I smiled proudly and nodded.

"Yes, yes she is and you my boy have turned my daughter into a merciless, Strigoi killing machine, good job."

Now any other man would have let that be all that was said but come on I'm Zmey I have to let him know that I know everything! 

"I'm also aware of your relationship or the one you had before that attack on St. Vlad's." Dimitri narrowed his eyes at me. I knew Belikov feared me about as much as he feared a blind, crippled, Rottweiler, meaning he didn't that's what I liked about him actually.

We stood facing one another in a stand off of wills. I contemplated the man who made my daughter the woman she was now, not to mention a mother, and he stared me down as well.

I finally broke the silence.

"You still love my daughter Belikov?" I asked and he stiffened even more before he looked away.

"I don't deserve her." He said. I glared. "That's not what I asked!" I growled out. "Do you still love Rosemarie Hathaway?"

He looked me in the eye and I could almost see the determination of a man possessed like he was ready to battle the minions of hell at that moment.

"Yes." He snapped. "I do, I love her with every fiber of my being but you don't know what the hell happened in Russia!"

I stood tall and proud as I looked the Russian in the eye.

"I do know. I saw the damage." His eyes widened barely enough to notice. "I was the one that found her after she escaped. I know what happened and that she cried not because of what you put her through but because you weren't in this world anymore."

I then walked past him but before I got to far away I stopped and looked back to only see his back.

"I always believed that it wasn't truly up to anyone but the girl to decide who deserves her or not. You can say that bull until you're blue in the face but it won't matter because it's ultimately Rose's choice not mine and not yours."

I began to walk again only to stop once more. "Oh and could you tell the princess and the rest of Rose's friends to meet me in the lounge room? After I fetch Janine I have something to share with all of you."

An hour later all of my daughter's friends and family were in the lounge. I couldn't stop smiling.

_So my daughter is selfish is she?_ I thought. _We'll see how selfish she is after this._

"Hello everyone." I said happily. "For those who don't know I am Rose's father."

I gave it a minute for that to sink in. I knew Rose told her friends that she had met me once she returned and Janine obviously already knew who fathered her child so she was leaning against a window arms crossed and rolled her eyes at me. I was always one for the dramatics.

Belikov, also not new to this information was leaning against the wall near the door; I had had to threaten to kill his guards before they'd leave, and he also had his arms crossed and that same stoic mask on his face.

Once I was sure that the ones that hadn't known who I was had had a chance to absorb the information I continued.

"As you all know Rose has decided that the Guardian path wasn't right for her," at this Janine gave an angry growl. To her Rose had betrayed every moral that Janine had hoped to teach our daughter through her actions and she wasn't happy about it.

"I am here to tell you all that she is fine and if she wants to come home she will."

"Oh for the love of- Abe," Janine stomped toward me and I'll be honest I'm pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes. "If you know where Rose is you better tell me so I can go drag her ass back here now!"

By this point I was practically bent over backwards with a snarling five foot guardian woman in my face but I hid my fear like any other man would and cleared my throat.

"Now Janine they are fine. Rose is a big girl and she can-"

"What do you mean 'they' are fine?"

I looked to Belikov and he had a suspicious look pointed dead at me and I was practically cackling like some kind of mad villain in my head.

"Rose and Nick." When I got blank looks I chuckled.

"Wow she was serious about not telling any of you."

"Who- who is Nick?" Vasilisa asked with confusion in her eyes and stress showing clearly on her china doll face.

I wasn't able to hide my smile now but it was one of pride. Yes I was extremely proud of my grandson.

"Why Nick is Rose's six month old son." I looked over to Janine. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes where about the sizes of Nick's fist.

"We're grandparents Janine."

Everyone was staring in utter shock. Vasilisa looked like she was trying to figure out how her best had been pregnant and given birth and she not ever have known.

Adrian Ivashkov's cigarette was dangling from his lips and Christian and Eddie were looking at each other as if they hoped the other understood just what the hell they had missed.

But it was Belikov's expression that almost had me rolling in hysterics.

He was just as shocked as the others but he suddenly looked over to Adrian and he looked murderous. His hands were even trembling.

Christian looked over to Adrian after he had convinced himself that Guardian Castile had no answers for him. The words out of his mouth were going to set off a nuclear weapon named Dimitri Belikov.

"Damn Adrian you actually did it!"

That was all it took. Like lightening Belikov moved over to the Queen's nephew and had him up by his shirt.

"You son of a bitch! You had the nerve to touch her!" he snarled. "How dare you touch her you son of a-" he was so mad he couldn't even finish his sentences.

Before the Russian could escalade Janine had ripped the Moroi from Belikov's grasp and stood between the two men.

"Belikov get a grip!" she snapped. "You keep this up and you'll be behind bars again!" Dimitri was breathing heavily as he backed off and Adrian seemed to find his voice.

"It's not mine!" he said. That didn't make Dimitri any calmer.

"Don't you dare!" he yelled. "Who else could it have been? And I swear if you try to say she slept around I'll rip you vocal cords from you throat!"

_Well as fun as this has been…_

"He's right." I said. "Ivashkov isn't the father."

Dimitri whirled on me and if I hadn't known any better I would almost say he was still Strigoi.

He stalked dangerously over to me and I stood my ground. I was Rose's father but I hadn't been there when she needed a father's protection but I was here now and I wasn't going to be intimidated by anyone.

"Who is he?" he snarled and I saw bloodlust in his eyes. He wanted to kill the bastard that had impregnated Rose and I chuckled.

_He has no idea that he wants to castrate himself does he?_

"Rose has asked me not to reveal that I'm afraid." I said with a sort of mock regret.

"I've told her she should tell the boy's father but she's convinced he wants nothing more to do with her."

With my words Dimitri began to look even more violent.

* * *

><p>(Dimitri)<p>

How the hell could he look so fucking calm! His daughter has a baby? A six-month-old son that no one knew about! When I found that sorry excuse of a man that touched MY Roza I'd make sure he could never father children again.

_No fuck that! He'll never see another woman again because I'll gauge out his eyes and feed them to him!_

"Well like I said." Abe said as if he hadn't just informed the world that there was another Hathaway roaming the earth.

"Rose and Nick are fine. She just wanted to be able to raise her son. She did sacrifice the first five months of her son's life to restore her old mentor and protect her best friend. She's done that now she wants to raise her son. Simple as that not very selfish if I say so myself."

_She left her son behind to… save me?_

Never had the shame felt so suffocating. She had left her newborn behind to save me and I made her feel as if she were nothing to me when she was my world. I hated that every time I looked at her all I saw was her that night when she had been weak with endorphin withdrawals and tears in her eyes as she shoved that stake in my heart.

_I will always love you._

I clenched my eyes closed.

_Oh god my Roza!_

I abruptly turned and stormed from the room. I couldn't stay there.

I made my way to the gym. It had always been the one place where I could work out my frustrations. So I changed into some workout clothes that I had in the locker I rented and set to work beating a punching bag, my motivation, the image of Roza with some low life scum that resulted in her son.

I had no idea how long I was working the punching bag but I was suddenly brought to earth by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

I stopped and leaned my head against the bag. Sweat drenched my shirt and even the sweats I was wearing and that same damned image wouldn't fade from my mind.

I was the only man that was suppose to touch her that way no one else had the right to touch her!

I took a shaky breath and looked behind me to see none other then Zmey. He looked almost sympathetic. I closed my eyes and then walked toward the bleachers to get some water and sit down.

The flashy Moroi followed me and sat next to me. We were silent for a few minutes then he broke that silence.

"I hate that they're out there on their own."

I scoffed. "If you felt that way then why didn't you make her stay here where they'd be safe?"

Abe glared at me from the corner of his eye. "Because Nick's father is here and she wouldn't have him in the same area as his father right now."

I tensed. The son of a bitch was here?!

Abe then reached into his coat pocket. "I don't know where she's headed but she has promised me that she'd call so I'd know that they were safe." He then handed me what looked like a picture. "Here."

I sighed but took it. When I looked at it I felt my heart sink.

It was a picture of Rose with her back to the camera with her looking over her shoulder. A newborn baby was leaning on the shoulder nearest to the camera and he was looking at the photographer with wide unfocused eyes.

Rose looked so beautiful and happy that I wanted to cry. I couldn't ever have given her this. If things had stayed the way they were before the attack she'd never have had her son.

"That was taken at the hospital by a professional when he was three days old." Abe said. "The birth was hard on her, the whole pregnancy was actually. The trauma she sustained in Russia didn't make for a very easy pregnancy at all even after being healed."

"He's…" I held back the tears as I said the words that made me want to die. "He's beautiful."

_He should be mine!_

I handed it back to Abe but he only turned it face down and handed it back to me.

There in Rose's handwriting was a name and a date.

Nikolai Dimitri

September 16th 2009

I was dumbfounded. She had named him after me. I didn't think there was anything else that could have shown me how much she still loved me. I smiled sadly and Abe spoke once more.

"She thought Nikolai suited him and she wanted to honor you by making his middle name Dimitri. I won't lie I was a little put out that he wasn't named Nikolai Abraham or Abraham Dimitri."

I turned to look at him and he had a small smile on his face.

"But she was right Nikolai Dimitri does suit him."

He then stood and began to walk away.

"Keep the photo," he said without looking back. "I have plenty."

And I was alone once again staring at the photo of what should be my family. I smiled at the picture and I imagined myself standing behind her, my arms creating a barrier from every bad thing and person in the world.

I stood up and put the photo in my wallet.

My decision was made and I was going to find my Roza and her son and maybe one day he'd be my son too.

As I left the gym I dialed a number I hadn't dialed since Ivan died.

As it rang I began to feel the shame melt away and hope flood into me.

I was nowhere near the man I use to be but I couldn't live without Rose and I was going to try my hardest to be the man she needed again.

Finally the call was answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey," I said. "It's Dimitri. I need a favor."

* * *

><p>So who loves me? This chapter was very fun to wright due to all the emotions. Please let me know what you all think. I'll try to have four and five up this weekend. Thanks!<p>

Richelle Mead owns VA

AriaBelikov.


	4. On Our Own

Chapter Four:

On Our Own

(Dimitri the next day)

I was sitting at a table in a little café just outside of Court. It took a lot of convincing that I could be trusted and Eddie's offer to accompany me out of Court but I made it here.

I sighed as I looked around anxiously at the picture Abe gave me held tightly in my hand.

"So," Eddie started. "Who's the guy we're meeting?" I looked to the sandy haired dhampir. He was one of Rose's closet friends and I knew he loved her like a sister. I had seen the lengths his loyalty to his friend's went and I could see that he was worried and hurt about Rose leaving.

"His name is Serge Zeklos." I replied. "He was my late charge, Ivan's, Half brother."

Eddie nodded in understanding. "So he's a dhampir?"

"Yes, he was actually raised by his Moroi father and his family. He was very close to Ivan and we were pretty good friends back in school."

"Okay so he's a guardian?" he asked. I shook my head. "No, he quit not long after Ivan died. He's a P.I now."

Serge's cousin on his mother's side had been abducted not long after Ivan had died and she was never found.

Serge had always had a strong sense of justice and had felt the lax treatment of his cousin's disappearance was atrocious so he had quit to become a privet investigator so he could help anyone no matter his or her species.

"Belikov!" I looked over toward the door and saw a dhampir wave toward me. He had a Russian accent and was dressed in a button downed shirt and slacks his hair was the same blond as Ivan's had been.

I stood up and walked over to his clasping his hand.

"Serge it's good to see you my friend." I said as I felt a real smile for the first time since before I was turned Strigoi.

Serge sat at the table and looked to Eddie.

"This is Guardian Castile."

The two shook hands and then my old friend turned to me with a happy smile.

"Damn I almost didn't believe it when they said that you'd been resurrected." He then laughed. "You look good Dimka."

I felt a pang of shame when he mentioned my time as a Strigoi but I smiled good naturedly as we all sat at the table. After a waitress came and went Serge became serious and business like.

"So Dimka I doubt you called just to catch up what's this favor you need?"

I sighed and felt the same overwhelming pain pierce my heart. I looked into the same eyes that ran strong in Zeklos line. I then passed him the photo of Rose and her son. Serge took the wallet size picture in his hand and examined it he then looked up at me. He wasn't my old friend anymore. No now he was an investigator.

"Kidnapping?" he asked. I shook my head. "No," I said. "She left and took her son with her of her own free will."

Serge looked perplexed as he leaned back in his chair.

"Then why am I here?" he asked. "If she's eighteen or older she is legally able to do whatever she wants and if the baby is her son then she makes the decisions for him." He shrugged helplessly. "She hasn't done anything wrong."

I glanced to Eddie and he was starting to look nervous. I had told him that Serge would help us but I didn't think about her age and the law.

_I'm not giving up._

"Serge you don't understand." I said as I took the picture off the table and held up so he was looking at it. I wanted him to see her, her smile and the light in her eyes.

"This is Rose Hathaway, she was my student. I taught her everything I show knows. I care about what happens to her."

"Then you should know that she can take care of herself and her kid."

I bowed my head. He didn't understand. How could he?

"We also had a brief relationship before I was turned Strigoi." I said suddenly. Maybe if he had even an inkling of how much I cared for this woman and the boy she's given birth to he'd understand that if he didn't help, I'd go looking for her myself.

Serge was frozen as he stared at me.

"Was the relationship sexual?" he asked and I looked him in the eye. I was not going to be ashamed of how I feel about my Roza.

"Once. It was the night before I had been turned."

Serge groaned as he leaned forward and put his face in his hands.

"Please tell me you thought with your actual head and not the one between you legs and that she was eighteen when you had sex with her."

I was stone faced. My guardian mask was on and it wasn't coming off.

"Her eighteenth birthday was a week or so away." Serge dropped his head onto the table with a loud bang that attracted the attention of the café's other patrons.

Eddie gave a nervous smile as he looked to a particularly snobby looking elderly woman.

"Bad coffee."

Serge looked up at me.

"Dimitri do you realize that you can go to jail for that?"

I scoffed. "That isn't the issue here Serge. I'm worried about Rose. She was upset when she left and she hasn't actually had her son since he was a month old or so."

The P.I. took a deep breath and nodded. "Could she possibly be a danger to the boy?"

Eddie slammed his hands down on the table and stood with cold brown eyes.

"Rose would never hurt her baby!"

I put a hand on Eddie's shoulder and gently made him sit back down.

"She wouldn't hurt her son Serge but she is bound to a spirit user, sometimes she takes the darkens that spirit creates from her bond mate." Serge nodded indicating he had heard of the element and the side effects.

"She's usually good at keeping control but she is more or less only human."

Serge chewed on the inside of his cheek as he studied me. I was determined to find Rose and Nick and I'm sure it showed on my face.

"You really love her don't you Dimka?" He asked me.

"More then anything in the world."

Serge groaned as he twisted his neck to relieve some of the tension.

"Fine," he said. "But just so you know if you were anyone else I'd have told you to go to hell."

I smiled. "Thank you Serge."

The dhampir nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah, just make sure you aren't back in a cell before I get her home."

I laughed and we all stood. I gave him all the information that Abe would tell me about where Rose headed and then we parted ways.

I just hoped I'd see my Roza soon.

* * *

><p>(Rose- a week later)<p>

I was woken by my son's cries at two in the human morning.

I figured that since we would be living among the humans from now on Nick and I would have to be on a human schedule. It hadn't been as hard as I thought it would be but then again Nikolai had always been a good baby and he seemed to adapt well to the change in his schedule.

I sat up and groaned as I stretched. I then looked to Nick who was in a cheap little playpen I had bought a few days after I left Court. I got up and picked my son out of the pen and cradled him and his cries turned to whimpers.

I then went to his baby bag and got out a bottled water and his powdered formula along with a clean bottle. I then managed to pour some water into the bottle one handed and then put it in the microwave on top of the little mini fridge in the cheap, but thankfully decent, motel room we were staying in for the week.

I had yet to figure out where I wanted to go exactly I had just known I wanted away from the Moroi Court and everyone there.

The little ding of the microwave snapped me from my thoughts and I took the bottle out and tested the formula against my skin. It was the perfect temperature.

I offered Nick the bottle and he took it with a tiny bit reluctance. I had breast fed Nick until two weeks before I left for the academy when he was almost two months old and now that he was back with me again he seemed to remember that I had the means to feed him and apparently he'd rather have breast milk then a bottle.

I wouldn't mind going back to breast feeding him but I wasn't producing milk, or at least not like I use to, and I didn't really have the means or time to find out how to start lactating again.

Nick finally took his bottle and as he drank the formula his eyes began to drift closed.

I sat on the bed and rocked my son gently as I hummed a random tune. When he was finally asleep I put him back in his pen and then went back to sleep myself.

Big mistake.

I felt the ripples of a spirit dream take hold.

_Oh great. _I thought. _I manage to keep this from happening for a week and he manages to break through now._

"Hello little dhampir." I turned around to see Adrian Ivashkov. He was dressed in a white button down shirt and khakis with his hair in its usual tousled style.

Adrian had pushed and pushed to get me to be with him but I had felt that him dating me without knowing I was a mother wasn't fair and when Dimitri had be restored I had down right told him no. He had been hurt and hadn't had much contact with me after that.

"Adrian." I said. "He smiled sadly at me.

"Well you don't have to sound like this is an unpleasant meeting."

I shrugged. "I'm tired." I told him honestly.

Adrian nodded his head and a curious look was there in his emerald green eyes.

"Is your son not sleeping well?" he asked and I was only half surprised he knew about Nikolai.

I sighed and then I yawned.

"No that's not it." I said through the yawn. "Nick is a wonderful baby, he's already use to a human schedule. I've just been a little tense since a Strigoi could decide to make a meal out of us at any moment."

Adrian nodded in understanding.

"You could always come home Rose." He said and I rolled my eyes.

_How did I know he was going to say that?_

"I'm not coming back Adrian." The royal sighed in an annoyed way.

"Rose I'd help you raise him you know." I groaned and turned away. Did he really think that that was why I left? That I didn't want to raise Nick on my own? Hell that's why people abandon their babies not run away with them.

"Adrian can we not do this?"

We were both quiet and then Adrian opened his damned mouth.

"He's Belikov's isn't he?" he asked and I whirled on him and just stared. How the hell did he come up with that?

Almost as if he saw the question in my eyes he answered.

"Oh come on Rose." He snapped. "Its not like you're a slut or something despite what rumors people said when you were in school."

I scowled and was about to tell him where he could take his little theories and shove them but he stopped me.

"You loved him, Belikov I mean. If you had anyone's son it would be his."

I was seriously about to find out if I could kick Adrian's ass in a dream.

"Dhampirs can't have children together Adrian."

"You're shadow kissed!" he shouted angry about my denials. "There is no telling what you can do because of that. Why can't one of the side effects be that you can have children with dhampirs and humans?"

I folded my arms. "Are you going somewhere with this?"

"Come home. Tell Belikov about his son. He's going nuts with worry for you and so is Lissa, hell we all are!"

"Dimitri doesn't give a damn about us and Lissa is a big girl she'll be just fine!" I was then in Adrian's face.

"My son needs me now Adrian and He won't have my full attention if I'm working all day and all night and trying to get over the fact the my best friend and the man that I loved hated the very ground I walked on. So for my Nikolai I'm not coming back."

Adrian stared at me with wide, almost frightened eyes.

"You really believe that don't you?" he asked.

How dare he make me sound so fucking stupid. He made it sound like this was something that I assumed because everybody was too busy for me or something.

"Love fades Adrian. That's what he said to me. And Lissa, she told me to leave. She told me that you'd all be better off without me and you know what she's right. Things are better this way now please send me back."

He sighed sadly and I felt the dream fade. Finally I was in my own dreams again.

Damn this meant I'd probably have to check out and find another motel. For all I knew Adrian was able to figure out where I was when he dream walked me.

* * *

><p>Please review and let me know what you think. How many of you would like for Dimitri to find Rose ASAP? Or should I drag it out a little bit? Hmmmm decisions, decisions.<p> 


	5. I Just Can't Get a Break

Chapter Five:

I Just can't Get a Break

(Rose)

The next morning I checked out of the motel and Nick and I were on the road yet again. I might have stayed a little longer to look for a house to rent if Adrian hadn't dream walked me. I know it sounds paranoid but we didn't know all of the abilities that spirit users had and for all I knew Adrian or Lissa could track my aura or whatever.

As I buckled Nick into his car seat early the in the human morning he looked up at me with sleepy eyes and I could almost hear him saying 'damn mom where's the fire?'

"I know baby boy but there are some very annoyingly stubborn people after us and we gotta go." He blinked up at me and then yawned and closed his eyes. Obviously he didn't understand how dire the situation was then again he's a six month old baby all he does is laugh, eat, poop, cry and sleep.

A few hours later and we were out of there!

* * *

><p>(Two weeks later)<p>

You know what I love and hate about my friends? They're persistent as hell.

I had just fallen asleep after putting Nick down only to be pulled into yet another one of Adrian's stupid dreams.

I looked around to find myself at the cabin at St. Vlad's. the very same cabin where Nick was conceived.

_Oh joy. _I thought as I looked around.

"Alright Adrian come on out!"

I could hear the disembodied chuckle as Adrian made himself known.

"Hello once again Little Dhampir." I turned and glared.

What part of leave me alone don't you get?"

Adrian lifted his hands in surrender. "In my defense I'm helping somebody talk to you and they aren't the type of person I want to say no to."

Then another figure appeared next to Adrian. Soon as the shadows of the trees melted away characteristics began to go come into focus.

The short red curly hair and the piercing brown eyes,.

_Oh damn._

"Hi mom,"

Yes Adrian had royally screwed me over. He brought the Janine Hathaway, my mother, into my dream. Just great.

My mom came over and gave me a tight hug and then pulled me back. The relief that had been in her eyes was replaced with anger as she glared at me.

"Rosemarie Hathaway you have some explaining to do."

I rolled my eyes and took her hands from my shoulders.

"My birthday was three days ago, I'm nineteen I can d what I want!"

"You're right, your birthday was three days ago an di couldn't give you your present because you weren't HERE!"

Adrian was watching us wide eyed as we hollered back and forth. Bet he wasn't planning on this.

"And what the hell is this about me having a six month old grandson? I never even knew you were pregnant!"

I scowled at my mother. She couldn't have just been happy that I was safe? No she had to constantly criticize everything I did.

"And what would you have said if I did tell you about Nikolai?" I snapped. "Berated me? Told me to get rid of him?"

My mother huffed. "Don't be ridiculous Rose of course I wouldn't stop acting like a child."

I stared at her incredulously. How dare she.

"At least I'm actually acting like a mother!"

"Ok!" Adrian said as he forced himself between us. "Let's calm down."

"You're not being a mother Rose!" mom yelled. "A mother thinks about what's best for her child not her hurt feelings!"

I lashed out and attempted to slap the hell out of her but instead I caught Adrian.

Normally I would apologize to him and try and calm down but I had been taking the darkness from Lissa since I left and it was starting to get a little too hard to handle.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed as Adrian let the dream go and I was thrust back into my own dreams.

* * *

><p>(Serge Five days later)<p>

I pulled up to the motel that one of my contacts had checked a young dark hared woman with a small infant into. I stretched as my body got over being so stiff in the car for such a long drive.

_It's been a week and this Rose always seems to be two steps ahead of me. I think I might reconsider not charging Dimka for this 'little favor.'_

I walked into the front office of the motel and nodded to the clerk.

"Hey Marty." I said and the older human man nodded. "Hey Serge, you on another assignment?"

"Yes." He nodded. "Well a young woman checked in Monday. She had a baby with her."

I nodded and then took out the picture that Dimka had given me.

"Was this the woman?" the old man took the picture and looked at it.

"Yup, that her. Pretty thing too." He handed the picture back and I stuck it in my pocket.

"So is it her husband looking for her?"

I wasn't sure how to answer. I mean obviously Dimitri hadn't married her but he did love her.

"She's a friend of mine's girl." It was the closet thing I could think of to describe my old friends very complicated relationship. Seriously hasn't he every heard of a one night stand?

Marty nodded in understanding. "So what'd he do to screw it up?"

I laughed. "I don't wanna know. It was probably something his mother would kick his ass for."

Marty laughed. "If he's anything like you that'd be a sight."

I nodded as the image of Miss Olena kicking her six foot seven inch; twenty four year old son's behind brought a childish smile to my face.

"So what room is the girl in?" I asked as I turned to leave the office.

"She's not. She checked out about three hours ago."

I groaned. Seriously? Has this chick been on the fucking run before?

"Thanks Marty, which direction did she go?"

"She was headed west."

I waved and left.

Once I got in the car I picked up my phone and called Dimka.

* * *

><p>(Dimitri)<p>

I was in the gym when my phone rang. Thankfully the guards had been lifted and I was able to have privacy for the first time since I was restored and Hans was working on getting my reinstated but it was probably going to take a little more time for that.

"Belikov," I answered.

"Your little girlfriend is a slippery one, Dimka."

I smiled as I heard Serge's annoyed tone. Roza did that to people a lot.

"What happened?" I asked as I sat down on the bench.

"I'm at the motel she's been at since Monday and she checked out three hours ago."

I cursed mentally. Can't Rose just stay in one place for more then a few days?

"Maybe I should meet you somewhere. I can help you track her."

Serge was quiet for a minute and then he sighed. "Fine I'll meet you at a diner not far from here."

After he gave me the address I took a shower in the locker rooms and then went to find the princess and the others and inform them that I would be going out to look for Roza.

Before I made it to the café where I knew Lissa and the other were meeting for lunch I saw Adrian walk from the guest housing being followed by Janine. I lifted an eyebrow when I noticed that Adrian's right cheek was already beginning to bruise.

I walked over and to them and it was then I noticed Janine looked ashamed.

"What happened to you?" I asked the younger Moroi as he looked to me.

"I got between two Hathaway women when they were pissed."

I felt my heart beat increase.

"Rose is here?" I asked with hope in my voice.

"No." Janine said as she crossed her arms sadly. "Adrian hoped I'd be able to talk Rose into coming home so he brought me into a spirit dream with her. But you know how Rose and I are when you put us together."

I ran a hand through my hair and growled in my throat. If I had known that Adrian would try this I'd have insisted that he pull me into the damned dream instead of Janine.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "You can dream walk more then one person and you chose the one person who's relationship with Rose is as strained as possible?" I then looked to Janine.

"No offense Guardian Hathaway." I said as I gave he an apologetic look.

Janine shook her head. "No it's true. I did blacken her eye last Christmas."

"Well excuse me for trying to talk Rose into coming back home where she belonged." Adrian snapped getting frustrated. "It's not like you're doing anything!"

I listened to the Moroi's ranting, allowing him to get all of his negative feelings out and once he was quiet I spoke.

"I actually am doing something right now." The two looked up at me with surprise. "I'm going to meet the P.I. I asked to find her and I'm going to help him look."

Janine's face broke into a hesitant but hopeful smile.

"He's found her?" she asked.

"He missed her by three hours today." I informed her. "I'm going to see if I can help track her down." I then began to walk toward the café to let the others know that I would be leaving for a few days.

"Well you did find her when she and Lissa ran away from school but do you really think you can do it again?" Janine asked.

I looked over toward Rose's mother, determination shining in my eyes.

"I will find them Guardian Hathaway."

* * *

><p>ok a few things I'd like to make clear. Adrian is not a bad guy in this fix he's just very frustrated. lol<p>

Richelle Mead Owns VA please review.

AriaBelikov


	6. So Close

Chapter Six:

So Close

Chapter Vocabulary-

Chert- Damn!

* * *

><p>(Dimitri)<p>

I sat in the passenger side of Serge's Cherokee jeep as I looked through the few pictures that he had managed to get of Rose and her son. He had been following her for weeks and she'd always manage to give him the slip, weather she realized she was being tailed or it was just luck I couldn't say.

I flipped through the pictures and found one of Rose in a grocery store with Nick on her hip. She looked good with a baby. He seemed to bring a certain softness out in his mother that I found myself admiring the more I stared at the photos.

Serge never managed to get shots of the infant's face but it was obvious that he had inherited his mother's dark hair.

"You're looking at those pictures like they were your wife and child or something Dimka.."

I sighed and put the pictures back in the folder.

"I wish," I told him as I leaned back in the seat and brushed my hair from my face. "I always regretted that I wouldn't have been able to give Roza a child."

Serge glanced at me from the corner of his eye and then he looked back to the road.

"Would you be alright raising another man's son?" he asked me and I found myself wondering if I really would be alright raising a boy fathered by some stranger.

I had always wanted children of my own and not just any child, I wanted children with the woman I loved and that was impossible.

I looked back down at the picture of Rose and the baby. Without even realizing it my decision was made. Nikolai was apart of Rose and so I would care and raise him as if he were my own.

"Yes." I whispered. "I would."

A few hours later we stopped at a gas station to fill our tank up. We pulled up next to a gas pump, which had a green Honda on the opposite side. I got out of the car to go into the store to pick up some things for the road.

As I was looking through chips and candies I heard the bathroom door slam shut. I wouldn't have given it another thought if it wasn't for the angelic voice that followed.

"Does mama's boy feel better now that he's all clean?" I whirled then ducked slightly as I looked for the woman that had spoken. It didn't take long to find her.

There she was, my Roza. She was at the counter buying a few bottles of water, coke and a bag of peanuts. Her son was on her hip. I stood right behind her all I had to do was reach out and tap her shoulder.

I reached out to do just that but before I was able to touch her, the baby turned his big brown eyes to me and just stared.

As I looked into the boy's eyes I was stopped in my tracks. He looked like someone I knew. I knew he did. I just couldn't place his face in my mind.

The baby stared at me for a minute then smiled and reached out as if he were trying to wave.

"You make a new friend back there little man?" Rose asked as she paid and picked up her bags. She never looked back to see who her son was smiling at.

"Here you go ma'am." The cashier said.

"Thanks."

Before I could snap myself from my shocked stupor Rose was gone.

I shook my head and rushed from the store to see Rose driving off.

I turned and punched the wall as the green Honda sped away.

"Chert!" I swore and rushed to Serge's jeep.

"I take it you didn't talk to her." he said as he pushed down the accelerator and we tried to catch up with mother and child.

I glared at my old friend.

"I was going to but," how was I suppose to explain how much the boy's features had shocked me. I still couldn't place the person he reminded me of but he had seemed so very familiar almost as familiar as my own reflection.

We managed to follow Rose until we got into heavy traffic and we lost sight of her.

I felt my heart sink. She was gone again like ghost from the past.

* * *

><p>(Rose- Two Months Later)<p>

I finally found a little interstate town that was far enough away from Court that I felt safe enough that I wouldn't be found by the others.

Every now and then I would check in with Lissa via the bond and found that she was being considered for the queen's successor. Eddie had been named her Guardian and she and Christian were still going strong.

Adrian was still stalking me in my dreams ever two to three nights.

In the past two months I had only seen Dimitri twice. He always seemed to be away from Court. I hoped he had gone to visit his family in Russia. I knew how much they loved him and they would be so happy to know that he was alive and a dhampir again.

But when I was in Lissa's head I got the feeling that that wasn't what Dimitri was doing but my ex best friend was blocking me so I wouldn't be able to find the answers I needed.

When I decided to settle in Diresburgh Indiana. I found a house for Nick and me. It was rented out by an elderly couple that just adored my little boy and when I decided to get a little part time job to bring in a little extra cash, so I wasn't only using my trust fund that Abe had set up for me, they were absolutely delighted to let me know about the day care center that their daughter owned.

So when I found a waitressing job two blocks from the daycare center, everything seemed to be working out.

I'd take Nick to daycare in the morning; work until after the lunch rush then I'd pick him up on my way home.

I still missed my friends and family but I still felt that me leaving was what was best for everyone. I even missed Dimitri. He was the father of my child and I felt a little guilty about keeping his son away from him but I was also sure that he hadn't been ready to be a father and he had probably moved on maybe with Tasha for all I knew.

It didn't matter. Nikolai and I were fine and we would be happy here.

The image of his first days of school flashed through my eyes and I felt a sense of both anticipation and dread. I couldn't wait to see what kind of kid, teen, and man my son would grow to be but at the same time I was terrified of the day he would grow up and make a life for himself.

I yawned as I brought my thoughts to an end as I made it to the diner where I worked after dropping Nick off and as soon as I entered I wanted to turn around.

There sitting in a booth facing away from the door was a tall man with broad shoulders and short blond hair. Sitting opposite him was none other then the man that had stolen my heart and then crushed it, he was also the man that had fathered my son.

Dimitri Belikov.

And he was looking dead at me.

* * *

><p>Yes this is going just how I hoped it would. So I did a time skip obviously but basically Rose took care of herself and Nick for over two months before she was found. I didn't want Nick to be too old when Dimitri found them so he's eight months now. This is where all the fun really starts.<p>

Please review and let me know what you all think.

Richelle Mead owns VA

Thanks

AriaBelikov.


	7. Making a Run For it Or Trying To

Chapter Seven:

Making a Run for It… Or Trying to

(Rose)

As soon as I made eye contact with Dimitri I turned on my heel and made a run for it.

_Damn it why the hell is he here?_

It wasn't long before I heard the sound of the diner door open and close behind me and the sound of pursuing footsteps reached my heightened ears.

"Roza stop!" I looked behind me to see Dimitri gaining ground fast. Damn my short fucking legs!

I tried to pour on the speed but I felt Dimitri's strong hand grab onto my arm.

The Russian pulled me back and against his chest and good god did it feel good. He was breathing slightly heavy and he held my upper arms so I couldn't get away.

"Damn it!" I huffed as I struggled to get free. "Let me go! What the fuck is your problem Dimitri!"

"Roza please just hear me out!" I glared at him and tried to jerk my arms free but it didn't matter my ex mentor was much stronger.

"Why the hell should I?" I snapped. "Damn I thought this was what you wanted. To be free of me so why the hell are you harassing me?"

"She's a little hellion isn't she Dimka?" I looked past Dimitri to see the other guy, the blonde guy.

Dimitri glanced back and gave a smirk.

"She's definitely more then you could have handled with you're temper."

I growled and lashed out kicking Dimitri's shin.

"Stop fucking talking about me like I'm not here."

Dimitri winced as my foot made contact with his leg. He turned to me and looked almost sadly. "Roza please calm down. We need to talk."

Realizing that I wasn't going anywhere for the time being I relaxed and stood there as Dimitri slowly let me go.

I crossed my arms and glared at the father of my son. As I looked at Dimitri I realized how much like his father Nick looked and I was hoping I could get rid of these guys before I had to pick my son up.

The other man walked up and looked me up and down.

"She really doesn't look like much of a fighter Dimka. Feisty sure but not much of a fighter." The other Dhampir said.

He was almost as tall as Dimitri and built the same as well. He was dressed in slacks and a button down shirt with a suit jacket.

I glared.

"And who the hell are you?" I spat as I stood my ground. I wouldn't mind giving this asshole a swift kick in the balls.

The man looked at me and smirked.

"I'm Serge Zeklos." He handed me a card and I slowly looked up at Dimitri and I'm sure he saw his death in my eyes.

"You hired a private investigator to hunt me down?"

* * *

><p>(Dimitri)<p>

Sometimes I hate Serge.

"Roza listen," I said calmly. "You left without telling anyone where you where going, we were worried and I never said I wanted to be rid of you. Now lets go get your son and we can talk this out at your home."

"Fuck that!" she snapped. "I don't want you around Nick."

That hurt me, a lot but I couldn't let her see that. I needed her to agree to come home.

"Look kid if you just hear us out it'll all be over soon and if you don't want to come back fine. All we want is for you to hear us out."

I glanced at Serge. Did have to call her a kid?

Rose lashed out and punched my old friend in the face. I knew better then anyone that she didn't take well to being treated like a child.

"Hey listen pal, I'm no kid. I have a kid and I have a higher body count then most Guardians."

I looked down at Serge. He lay there holding his jaw where Rose had hit him and I only felt a small bit of sympathy.

"Did I ever mention that she hates being referred to as a child?" I asked him.

He groaned.

I looked to Rose and she sighed defeated.

"You're not going to leave until I talk to you are you?" I shook my head. She knew me well enough to know that if she tried to run I'd find her, I'd always find her.

She groaned and turned around.

"Fine. Come on." She grumbled as led us down the block to a day care center. I helped Serge up and we followed her.

Rose looked behind her to us and glared at Serge who was still holding his jaw.

"We'll stay out here." I told her. Rose nodded then entered the day care and talked with the lady at the front desk.

* * *

><p>(Rose)<p>

"Oh Miss Hathaway, you're early." the woman at the front counter, Amanda, said as I walked into the daycare. It was a sweet place with colored carpets and child like murals on the wall.

I had been bring Nick here since I started working two months ago and the people were nice and the place was nice and clean, I should know I inspected every inch before I left my son there the first time.

"Yeah well turns out today was my day off." I said as I glanced out the window to see Dimitri and his P.I. buddy waiting for me.

_I can not believe he hired a P.I to hunt me down!_ I fumed as Amanda had me sign Nick out and then she left to retrieve my little boy.

As soon as I saw my little man, the only man that really mattered in my life, I couldn't stop the smile that came to my face.

When Nick saw me he shrieked happily and reached out for me. I took him in my arms and held him to me.

"Mama missed you too baby boy." I said as I kissed his little cheeks.

"Thanks Amanda, I'll see you later." Amanda nodded and I walked out the building.

As soon as I was outside Dimitri and Serge came over to me. Dimitri's eyes studied my son and my son studied him. After a minute my son apparently decided that he liked Dimitri and reached out to be held by him.

Dimitri looked at me hesitantly to see if I would actually allow him to hold Nick. I nodded and reluctantly handed the baby over to him.

Nick studied Dimitri's face as he put his tiny hands on his cheeks and laughed at the rough feel of his slight stubble. Nick looked to me.

Nick turned back to the Russian that was now holding him and then he reached for a lock of his hair and pulled. Dimitri winced and I reached up gently pat my son's hand.

"Nikolai Hathaway we do not pull hair!" I said and he looked at me and pouted as if he were about to cry but Dimitri's voice drew his attention.

"It's alright Roza he didn't hurt anything." I glared at him.

"If he thinks he can get away with he'll do it again."

"Can we go now you two lovebirds?" Serge asked as he came to stand by Dimitri.

Nick stared at the other man and blew a raspberry at him.

I laughed. "That's his way of saying be nice to his mama."

Serge rolled his eyes and I looked to Dimitri. He looked happy holding Nick in his arms and I half wondered if I should tell him that he was the father.

_Love Fades Rose, Mine Has._

Maybe not.

"Come on, I live a few blocks away." The two men followed me and I let Dimitri carry his son though he didn't know it.

* * *

><p>(Dimitri)<p>

We came to a simple two bedroom two bath house. It was quaint and decent and I was relieved that Abe's financial aid had allowed Rose to find a decent place it live. It had a big yard that I could almost imagine the little boy in my arms running around playing in.

Rose opened the door and let us in.

As I passed her Nick reached for his mother and I let her take him from my arms.

"Well make yourselves at home." Rose said nonchalantly as she put Nick in his playpen. He started playing with his baby toys happily ignoring the adults in the room.

Serge cleared his throat. "I think I'll go out for a smoke." He said and left he house. I sighed and sat down as Rose stood her arms crossed as she waited for me to speak.

As I watched her it hit me how grown up she really was. Before she would have completely rejected even the idea of speaking with me like this after I had hurt her. But here she was waiting patiently for me to state my case.

"Roza." I said. "About what happened at the church, I didn't mean to hurt you bad enough to chase you away from where you belong." She looked away from me as if looking at me hurt her. I stood up and gently tried to take her into my arms but she moved away from me.

I felt my heart break a little as I realized she didn't want me to touch her but I respected her wishes and sat back down.

"When I said that I was trying to keep you safe. I'm not the man I was back at the academy I didn't think that I was good enough for you anymore."

Rose groaned as she turned around to pick up her son. He played with her hair and babbled the way babies do as she turned around and looked at me again.

Once more I was struck by how beautiful she was, especially while holding her own child. The baby brought out a motherly softness in her.

"Dimitri you didn't have the right to make this decision for me. If I thought you were good enough then you were good enough."

I felt my heart fall slightly as the sadness in her voice. I had hurt her much more then I had intended. I had hoped she'd just move on and forget about me so she could be happy but instead I drove her away.

I stood up and moved hesitantly toward her. "Roza I'm sorry, I really am. Please come home."

She looked small and unsure as she clutched her son to her chest like a security blanket. I was probably the only sure thing in the world to her right now and that killed me.

"No," she said. "If I go back nothing will change. I'll have to leave Nick at an academy and if I do my job right I'll never seem him and he'll grow up like I did, resenting me."

She looked to Nick who patted her cheek as tears fell from her eyes.

She kissed his head and looked to me. "Besides, I can't live somewhere where everyone is constantly ignoring me. I can take the royals who I don't give a shit about talking shit but not my so called friends."

I quickly took the woman I loved and her son into my arms and held them tight.

Rose tried to pull away but I held her to me tighter without hurting her or the small child in her arms.

"They care about you Rose. Lissa has been worried beyond words about you so have the others." I made her look at me. "We love you, I love you."

I felt my heart beat so fast I thought it was going to burst from my chest.

"And if you'll let me and give me some time I'll be happy to be with you again and help you raise your son as if he were my own."

She sobbed as she shook her head.

"Don't say that," she whimpered as she finally broke from my arms "I won't be able to take it when you change your mind again." I reached for her and Nick began to cry, obviously upset that his mother was crying.

Rose held her son to her and soothed him. I watched her as she comforted herself by soothing her child and I felt more shame then before. Rose sat down and took a deep breath and Nick sat in her lap watching me with a surprisingly protective look for his age.

"Rose I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you but I'm not changing my mind on this."

* * *

><p>(Rose)<p>

I wasn't sure what to say. Was he being serious? How could he just abandon his son and me and then walk back into our lives as if nothing ever happened. I know he didn't know that Nikolai was his but still.

And now here he is asking me to give up the life I had just begun to live so I could guard someone else and just hand my child to someone else to raise.

_And if you'll let me and give some me time I'll be happy to be with you again and help you raise your son as if he were my own_

I shook his words from my mind. No if I considered his words I'd have to tell him the truth and I couldn't handle that right now.

But I did miss my family and my friends. I looked at his hopeful face and found that even though I'd never be able to trust him again I missed his too.

I bowed my head and then I looked at Nick. Since we settled down here I'd have to fight off two or three Strigoi. Lucky my son hadn't been with me for any of the occurrences but it still made me feel a little exposed to be without the wards.

I looked at Dimitri once more. He looked almost desperate. Like he didn't know what he'd do if I refused to come home.

I sighed. "I'll think about it."

I saw the relief flood his features as dread filled me to my core.

* * *

><p>Sorry it took me so long. Work as being kicking my rear end and this chapter was abnormally hard to write. Please review and let me know what you all think.<p>

AriaBelikov

P.S. I do not own VA

P.S.S. How soon do you all think Dimitri should find out about Nick? Let me know what you think either in a review or a Private Message. Thanks again.

AriaBelikov.


	8. Father Son Bonding

Chapter Eight: Father Son Bonding

(Rose)

Later that night Dimitri made himself at home on my couch as I bathed Nick in the bath tube. Serge had decided that he'd rather stay at a motel away from the 'crazy bitch.' Yeah I liked that a little too much.

Usually I wouldn't have given into Dimitri's request for me to think about coming home but there was something in his expression as if his very soul hinged on my coming with him. Despite everything I still loved him and I would love for him to be in Nick's life but at the same time I was terrified of Dimitri wanting to take my son from me, though I was sure he wouldn't go that far.

I was brought from my sad thoughts by my son giggling and splashing in the water.

"Having fun there little man?" Nick looked up at me and splashed again this time soaking me t-shirt. "I'll take that as a duh." Nick shrieked happily.

"Need help?" I looked behind me to see Dimitri standing in the doorway of my bathroom.

"Not really," I said. "He's just having fun. Nick loves taking baths." Dimitri nodded then walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. He had a soft smile on his face as he unknowingly watched his son.

Nick looked up and became very interested in the newcomer as he stopped his splashing to stare at Dimitri entranced.

I looked to Dimitri. "You wanna hold him up so I can wash him?" I asked and he agreed and moved to kneel next to me and take hold of the baby under the arms.

Nick seemed to think that it was a new game and began to try to bounce and kick his little feet in the bath water that hit his father's black shirt.

He chuckled as I cleaned the baby and once I was done he sat Nick back down, making sure that he didn't fall back into the water as he played.

"He's very energetic isn't he?" Dimitri asked as I got a towel out of the closet to wrap my son in.

"You have no idea. When I was pregnant with him he was never still. He was always moving and kicking."

I turned around and saw the saddest expression on Dimitri's face as if the thought of me pregnant physically hurt him.

I held the towel open. "Baby please?" I said. And the Russian picked my son up from the tub to hand to me.

Nick began to fuss as he was taken out of the water and I wrapped the towel around him and took him into my arms.

Dimitri chuckled as Nick began to throw a fit as we left the bathroom.

"He likes water doesn't he?" I laughed and nodded. "Yup."

I then took my son to his nursery and began to the dress him. Dimitri followed me again and out of the corner of my eye I could see a look of longing in his eyes as he watched me care for my son.

I sighed and once I was finished with Nick I decided that I really needed a bath so I turned to my ex lover and handed him the baby.

"Watch him while I take a quick shower?" Dimitri blinked in surprised as he held Nick under his arms and before he could protest I was in the shower. I wasn't sure if letting Dimitri have any alone time with our son was smart but something inside me told me that this was the right thing to do.

* * *

><p>(Dimitri's POV)<p>

I looked to the boy in my hands and then back toward the room his mother had disappeared to. It made no sense that I had this little tendril of anxiety at being left alone with Rose's child shot through me. I mean I had helped my sisters and mother with Paul when he was a baby. I knew how to care for a baby but there was something about this boy that set me on edge. Already this boy was more to me then just my ex-lover and student's son and I suppose I was terrified I would cause irrevocable damage to the child and his mother would never forgive me.

I heard a grunt and looked to the boy I still held away from my body and he was glaring at me as if he was annoyed that I was still holding him out like that.

Again Nick reminded me of someone that I knew but I still couldn't place the face.

"Well," I said and he looked up at me with a contemplating gaze. "I guess it's the two of us for now huh?" I pulled the infant closer to me and held his tiny body to my chest as I walked back into the living room where I noticed a swing in the corner. I gently place the baby in it and then went to the kitchen to see if I could find Nikolai his bottle.

I opened the fridge and there were a few bottles filled with formula. I picked one up and put it in a pot filled with water to heat it up. The milk had just gotten to the perfect tempeture when Nick began to cry angrily.

_Just like his mother._ I chuckled as I went to pick the eight month old boy up and cradled him in the crook of my arm and offered him his breakfast.

I laughed as the boy greedily took the bottle and suckled vigorously for the milk inside. He looked up at me as he drank the bottle happily. His eyes were a shade or two lighter then his mother's and his hair had a silky feel to it as it lay against my bare arm.

The baby raised up his hand as he ate and put it to my chin. I smiled as I sat on the couch and cradled the boy like he were the most precious thing in this world. He was part of my Roza and to me he was one of the most precious thing in my world.

He finished his bottle and I put him over my shoulder to burp him and then after he was full and sated he closed his sleepy eyes and fell asleep in my arms.

* * *

><p>And that's how Roza found us not even five seconds after he fell asleep.<p>

Okay so I have just managed to get back to these stories sorry its just a filler chapter but I wanted some Dimitri Nikolai fluff and I honestly had no idea what to do with this chapter. I hope to get back into the swing of it soon though. Also the Missing Rose will be on hold for a while simply because I haven't worked on it in so long that I have completely lost myself on it but I will work through it and once a few chapters get written out I'll start posting on it again. Thanks for all of your patience you guys are awesome!

Also for any of my InuYasha fans that read my VA stories as well I have adopted a story called She's Back by SoftballChicky15 and it'll be up soon.

Thanks,

AriaBelikov


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